The Almost Husband

For a few months I worked as a cocktail waitress for a blues club which I’m not sure could be classified as “work.” We had quite a bit of lenience since our manager was more like a friend than a boss, and many nights instead of cleaning up at the end of the night we’d end up on the dance floor with a cocktail in hand. One night a private party for a law firm came in, and I half joked that I was going to bag myself a rich lawyer. I did end up chatting and flirting with one of the lawyers, who I found out later just happened to own and run that law firm. He definitely wasn’t the best looking man I’d ever seen. He appeared to have permanent dark circles under his eyes, a slightly crooked nose, and looked a bit like a cross between Billy Joel and one of the trolls from Lord of the Rings. On top of that he looked at least 15 years older than me, but there was a confidence about him I found very sexy. He told me his name was Drew and asked if he could take me out sometime. I figured what the hell and gave him my number.

He called me 2 days later and asked if I would join him to watch a UCLA basketball game and go to lunch. I agreed and we had our first date. He picked me up in his Porsche, and took me to a fancy restaurant where we got to know each other a little better. Drew told me about his past, how he'd joined the army to get his degree and lived off of student loans and top ramen while he went to law school. Instead of joining an already established law firm he took a risk and started his own personal injury practice which ended up being a huge success. I told him a bit about myself, and how one of my passions was to travel the world but at the time I hadn’t been able to travel much yet. He looked me in the eyes, smiled and asked if I would mind if he changed that. I smiled and thought to myself, nope, don’t mind at all!

He was a man of his word and by the time we’d been dating for a couple of months we’d already been on a cruise around Mexico as well as two island vacations. When I’d told him I was only 22 on our first date he thought I was joking and even chuckled until he realized from my silent stare that I was serious. He made a joke about how his friends, after meeting me, would now definitely know he was having a midlife crises. I thought he shouldn't worry about that, since I was pretty sure they’d already guessed by the tiny black Porsche he had parked outside. He had seemed concerned about the age difference at first, but then hadn’t mentioned it again until things started getting more serious. We started having argumentative conversations about marriage and kids. We had slightly different views on the topic. He had a plan of wanting to be married with children within the next couple of years. When I thought about being married with children that soon I had to stop myself from throwing up a little in my mouth. His plan sounded an awful lot like a prison sentence to me and I wasn’t sure why it would appeal to anyone. I just wasn’t ready to think about those things yet and eventually he told me he was going to have to date other people in order to find someone who was ready. I told him to go ahead if that’s what he wanted to do, and I didn’t think it would really bother me. I was having fun with him but didn’t think he was the one for me. That is until one night when I asked what he was up to, figuring he’d be around to hang out with me as usual, and he told me he had a date. I felt my heart sink, and I realized just how much it bothered me and how much I actually cared for this man.

A few days later I sat him down and pleaded my case to him about how I thought we should really give this a go, that I didn’t want him to see other people, and that it was illogical to try to find someone to plug into your pre-existing relationship plan. I told him it makes more sense to find someone you love and build a life plan together as you go along, to see if a relationship works first and then fill in the blanks. I felt pretty proud of my argument, especially when he agreed with all that I’d said and wanted to give it a another shot. From that point on we became pretty inseparable, and then one day Drew told me he was in love with me. I hadn’t realized I loved him too until I heard myself saying those 3 words back. I came to learn both the best and worst qualities about Drew. The best being his drive, generosity, and humor, as well as being down to earth despite his success. The worst being his need to control, his temper, and his attachment to smoking pot every night. Our age difference proved to be a bit of an issue at times as well. We didn’t always see eye to eye or want to do the same types of things, and I wasn't fond of the moments when people assumed Drew was my father.

My most vivid memory of this was the day he bought me a car. Right before the dealer closed the sale, Drew stepped away to take a work call and the dealer asked me if i lived in the area or was just visiting 'my dad' from college. I turned us away from Drew and whispered that if he wanted to sell this car it'd be best to keep any further comments of that nature to himself. I’d never dated someone so successful and wealthy before Drew, and I won’t say that him having an amazing 3 story mansion on the beach wasn’t incredible. And I’d be lying if I said that money never being an issue wasn’t a great perk, since it allowed for things like last minute tickets to the super bowl or jumping on a plane to Vegas for a VIP weekend. I never used him for his money like some women had in his past, and I think he respected that about me.

Several months later after much persistence from Drew I moved out of my tiny Hollywood apartment and into his beach house. When we were nearing our year anniversary a couple of things were happening. 1) I was beginning to wonder if I loved Drew more as a friend than romantically or sexually. 2) He was constantly bringing up the topic of getting engaged. I kept telling him I wasn’t ready for that, I thought it was still too soon. We were arguing more than we had in the past, and I started feeling the age gap more than ever. Our lives were just so different. I still liked to go out drinking with friends and was figuring out what I wanted to be when I grew up while he was already settled in his career and enjoyed smoking pot , eating twinkies, then falling asleep in front of the T.V. every night. Whenever he’d bring up getting engaged and I’d object to the idea, he would just brush off my protests and tell me I was only nervous because I worry too much. The more hesitant I became, the more pushy he got until one vacation day in Key West, we were off on a tiny island having an amazing 5 star dinner, and it was time for dessert. I remember the moment this way. The waiter brought out some sort of chocolate dessert and I remember thinking, I didn’t order this, that’s odd. The waiter then opened the chocolate dessert, which turns out was a heart shaped box made of chocolate, and I remember thinking, Is that rice? Why would they put white rice inside of chocolate? Turns out it wasn’t rice, it was rock salt and while examining the dessert I somehow didn’t notice the enormous diamond ring sitting in the middle of it. I looked around and wondered why everyone appeared to be staring at me, then noticed Drew to my left down on one knee. Oh my God. My heart started pounding as realization started to creep in, and the next thing I know Drew is saying something like: Parker, will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife? It felt difficult to breathe and I couldn’t seem to think clearly. This was such a beautiful moment and I had no idea what the next word out of my mouth was going to be……
To be continued……..