The Snoop

I was invited to my at-the-time agent’s Christmas party, and wasn’t going to attend since I usually hate those industry parties full of all-about-me actors. The day of the party my friend Raven heard about it and insisted I go and take her as my date. With a sigh I agreed. After being at the party for about 10 minutes I was bored and ready to leave. I had left Raven to say my obligatory hello to my agent, and when I scanned the crowd to find her, I saw she was being hit on by a cute blonde boy. I went over and after she introduced us I told her I was ready to go when she was. To blonde guy’s left I saw his friend standing there staring at me with a big smile on his face. He introduced himself and shook my hand.
His name was Alex. He was an actor who was also represented by my agent. He was very cute, but I was in no mood to chat and was very ready to exchange this party for my couch and a movie. He wasn’t giving up so easily though. He asked me all about myself, and I had no choice, since Raven seemed perfectly content chatting away with his friend and oblivious to my rescue stares, but to carry on a conversation with him. He asked if I’d like a drink and I figured it might help my mood so I said I’d love one. We sipped our vodka tonics and after a while I started really warming up to Alex. At one point he got pulled away for an introduction to some producer, and after he was gone for at least 10 minutes, I decided it was time to leave this party. Raven and I were heading out the door when he grabbed my arm and said, “Wait! Where are you going?” I opened my mouth to say home, but Raven blurted out that we were going to a nearby bar for a change of scenery and that he should join us there later. I gave her a dirty look and he smiled at her then asked for my number. I gave it to him and he said he’d love to meet up later on.
We left and Raven started talking about how cute he was, while I pointed out that he was still an actor, which I don’t usually date since they have a tendency to be egotistical narcissists. We went to the bar and I tried to hide the fact that I was secretly hoping he’d show up. When closing time rolled around with no Alex, I told Raven I was heading home. On my way home, as I tried telling myself I wasn’t disappointed he hadn't shown up, Alex called. I answered with a big smile on my face and we talked for about an hour. He told me he was so sorry he couldn’t join us, but our agent had him running around a bit for her, and he couldn’t get out of there as quickly as he’d hoped. At the end of our conversation he asked if he could take me to dinner and I said of course.
The next evening he picked me up and took me to an amazing steakhouse where we drank martinis, had a delicious dinner, and some of the best conversation I’d ever had. By the time he dropped me off and we'd had our first kiss, we were both obviously smitten.
For our next date he wanted to make me dinner, and when I showed up at his place he answered the door with a huge bouquet of flowers and made a fantastic meal. He was scoring big points. As I was looking around his apartment later on, I saw a picture of him dressed in a tux which appeared to be taken at a wedding. I asked whose wedding it was and he said it was his. Umm...Red flag. Your wedding?! After I gave him what must have been a horrendous look, he quickly explained that he was divorced, and proceeded to tell me about her having an affair, and the other reasons the relationship hadn’t worked. I was disappointed he'd been previously married but relieved that he wasn't still. By the end of the evening we had both decided we wanted to take it slow as far as sleeping together since we wanted it to be special and really get to know each other first.
We spent the next month becoming the best of friends (the kind of friends that make out a lot). We were inseparable and having the time of our lives. By the time we finally did have sex, it was the best of my life. We were falling in love but I was definitely not going to be the one to say it first. That is until the night someone drugged my drink.
We were out with our friends and at one point I left my drink unattended. The next thing I knew I woke up in the morning next to Alex. I had a massive headache and remembered nothing, but had only had 2 beers. Apparently I went from fine to falling over within the hour. At the time Alex was confused and took me home, carried me up the stairs, and at the door I looked at him and said “Alex, I love you sooo much”, right before I passed out completely. When he told me the story I had a look of horror on my face and told him I hadn’t planned on saying that. At least not before he had and preferably not under the influence of drugs. He told me he’d said it back which helped a little. After some detective work we realized someone must have slipped something in my drink due to all of my odd symptoms.
Our relationship continued to grow stronger and I thought, Finally! This is the normal, healthy, loving relationship I’ve been waiting for! And then Alex’s demons started to reveal themselves.
The first occurrence happened one day when I had to go to work early and Alex had spent the night. I didn’t want him to have to wake up early, so I told him to sleep in and lock the door on his way out. Later that evening when he came over, he seemed really upset. I asked what was bothering him and he told me that he’d seen a Valentine’s Day present on my dresser, (an early present from my Mom, she gives me one every year and makes me wait until the holiday to open it) he told me he’d seen the card which had “From your biggest fan!” written on it, (my Mom is my biggest fan), that he’d opened the bag and seen a picture of me and “some guy” in it, (my brother Kyle and I which my Mom had framed), and after he told me all this he waited for my response, clearly thinking his snooping would be overlooked since he’d caught me red handed. I looked at him and told him he was about to feel like the biggest jack ass on the planet, and proceeded to tell him the truth about what he’d found. He looked down sheepishly and began to apologize profusely. He said he apparently still had some trust issues. Gee, you think? I expressed how disappointed I was. I told him I didn’t do well with the jealousy, invasion of privacy thing, and that if our relationship was going to work it couldn’t happen again. He said it wouldn’t, apologized again, and I dropped it. But then it did happen again.
We had just gotten back from a weekend getaway and I hadn’t unpacked my bag yet. The following weekend I stayed at Raven’s house for a couple of days, and the day after I got back from her house, Alex spent the night. I left him in my apartment while I went to work and that night he came over upset. He told me he’d looked through my overnight bag and wondered why, if I’d only been at Raven’s, I had packed sexy lingerie. I told him he was an idiot, that was the bag from our trip I hadn’t unpacked yet, and that I was through with his shady snooping. He again apologized and we dropped it but as more things of this nature continued, it began damaging our relationship. We began fighting quite a bit.
Then came the fateful day when our relationship really fell apart, and also the day I realized tequila and I could never be friends. I was in a play and had developed what I thought was a harmless crush on the director. It was closing night and Alex came to the show with a buddy of his. I asked him to stay after the show for the cast party. It was being held at the theater since it had a bar built in. He said he was going to a party instead with his buddy. I was pissed. This was a last straw kind of moment for me, and what I should have done was to tell Alex we needed a break. Since I apparently wanted to make things more complicated for myself, this is what happened instead. Alex left after the show and the cast and crew started drinking shots of tequila. Most of the cast started to leave until there were only 4 of us left, including myself and the director. Alex called and I told him I’d be leaving shortly and that I’d come over when I was done. The next thing I know the shots of tequila took over and I woke up lying on the couch next to the passed out director. I heard pounding on the theater door. Uh oh. More knocking as I tried to clear my head and remember what had happened and how I’d ended up on this couch. I began to get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I had flashbacks of the only scattered moments I could recall from the evening. Shit, I made out with my director. I knew it was Alex pounding on the door and I panicked as I tried to think of what to tell him. The truth seemed way too frightening, but the only lie I could think of was: Alex, I am actually at home in bed right now. This isn’t really happening, you’re just having a nightmare. I didn’t think he’d buy it. I woke up my director and told him he had to hide, my boyfriend was at the door and it would be in his best interest to not be present when I opened it. I opened the door to a furious and worried looking Alex. He asked what the hell had happened, why I hadn’t come home. I told him I passed out, I’d had too much to drink, I apologized. He looked around and asked if someone was there, if something had happened. I told him nothing had happened, I just fell asleep on the couch, and asked him to just please take me home. He didn’t look convinced but finally agreed and we left. The next day I realized that, due to the fact I’d made out with my director then lied about it, I should break up with Alex, at least for now until I could clear my head. I told him I thought we should take a break for a while. He didn’t want the break but reluctantly agreed.
During this break I missed Alex, but felt that we would get back together when we both gained some perspective and could start fresh. What I didn’t realize was that one of the 4 people who had been at the cast party was friends with Alex’s roommate, and she had seen me making out with the director. Small world. I was caught in a lie but didn’t yet know it. I knew something wasn’t right when Alex wouldn't return any of my calls. I finally went to his house and when he saw it was me at the door he wouldn’t even speak to me. He closed the door in my face. I pushed it open and refused to leave until he told me what was going on. It wasn’t fun to hear that he knew I’d lied and cheated.
I called a couple of days later and apologized profusely, and asked if we could try again. He actually agreed to give it another try, however he never let go of what had happened. I finally told him that he either had to let the past go, or let me go, because otherwise this wasn’t going to work. What he did, instead of letting it go, was cheat on me. He had sex with a girl he worked with. The last thing I’d ever expected from Alex was cheating. When he told me what had happened I felt devastated. At this point the obvious and best choice would’ve been to put an end to this clearly damaged relationship full of mistakes, but instead I decided to give him another chance. I figured, in my screwed up logic, that now we were even. That maybe since we had both messed up we could start fresh and move forward. Of course I was wrong.
Our relationship continued to get even worse. Now neither of us had a solid foundation of trust, and Alex continued to blame me not only for my mistake but for his mistake as well. Anytime a fight would come up, he’d throw what I did in my face. When I’d point out that he’d also cheated and on an even bigger scale, his defense would be that he would never have cheated if I hadn’t done it to him first. I couldn’t win. So I decided for the both of us that we needed to break up. We remained “friends” and did that thing couples sometimes do, where they still see each other from time to time after breaking up, pretending it’s a normal, healthy thing to do. Then I started seeing someone else I’d recently met and started distancing myself from Alex, and Alex became a bit of a psycho stalker.
Gavin was over one day and we thought we heard something outside on the lawn. We peeked out through the curtains and saw Alex standing behind a tree in my front yard trying to look in through my window. When he saw the curtains move he ran away. I found out that he had a neighbor who worked as a private investigator and Alex actually hired him to follow me. When I stayed overnight at the new guy’s house I came out to find a note on my car that said: I hope this guy is worth it since he’s destroying our relationship. He obviously forgot that we had broken up. He had somehow gotten new guy’s phone # and left him a voice mail, warning him about all of the things that were wrong with me and told him to be careful if he was planning on dating me. How thoughtful of him to be so concerned about new guy. I decided it was time to cut all ties with Alex. We had really destroyed something that seemed so amazing initially. It seemed like such a shame, but I guess that’s life for you. Live and learn, and that’s what I decided to do. I moved on, literally. I up and moved to Arizona where my sister lived. I decided I needed a change of scenery and to flee the scene of the crime seemed like the best way to get it. As angry as I was with all of his actions, I still cared about Alex. I hoped in time that we could be friends again one day but that was wishful thinking. I realized the past belongs in the past and in order for a new door to open, you have to close the one behind you first. So that’s what I did. I closed the door on a great love and looked forward to seeing what I had in store for me behind the doors of the future.